A babe always knows how to position himself to maximize compositional merit, which generally involves self positioning against walls that are chroma-logically compatible.  

“Pretty in Green Babe”

Aw, what a cute babe.  He’s like someone you went out with for 3 weeks in middle school before the summer break where his family moved to Iowa, and you occasionally search for him on FaceBook because you think you may still have something.

He’s too cool for FaceBook though, so you try google, and then try facebook again in a few weeks.

But he just looks like that.

This babe is actually from Spain and today is his birthday.  We know all of this because we took the time out of our busy schedules to hit on him while we were on our way home with a big plastic bag full of vegetables and grapes.  He offered us a hot dog from inside the bar, but we are new students of a Taoist regime, and hot dogs are against the Way (of the Tao).   Sorry babe, enjoy your hot dog with some adherents of Western Schools of thought.

“Separated by Fate (the Tao) Babe”

Whoa hey Keanu Reeves!!! Awesome to see you in Brooklyn with your hair blowing in the wind.  I have this script I’m writing about the whole world being this intricate matrix thing if you want to see it, or are you busy having excellent adventures?

“Keanu Reeves in the Wind Babe”

We went for a walk today.  We go for a walk everyday because we have no TV, and we like walking, but today was different. 

There we are walking aimlessly around Greenpoint when suddenly an entire film set appears before our eyes!!

Well this is interesting.  Hello Jason Schwartzman. Hello Ted Danson. Let’s sit down awkwardly on this curb right here and watch.

So we took a seat and smiled widely as they proceeded to blow up a window in the scene they were shooting. 

That part was cool, but then this “Clipboard Babe” appears adding to the superior excellence of the moment.  Who knows what his actual job was, but the clipboard seemed to give him access to all parts of the film shoot…spawning a most genius idea on our part.

Due to complete and total lack of income, we are going to have to get pretty creative soon on how the heck we are going to feed ourselves.  Apparently a clipboard is a one way ticket to the film set food buffet though, so as long as we can afford a clipboard, we’ll live!!!!!

At the zenith of men’s fashion, we have outliers such as this babe.  These babes boldly explore the boundaries of style while lounging upon their front stoop.  We can safely assume this babe has just finished slaying a large bear and is minutes away from seducing David Bowie who may or may not happen to walk by as we did. 

What a visionary.

“Exposed Brick Babe”

Once we get famous enough to necessitate a bodyguard, we want this one.

“Secret Service Babe”

and then i went over and sat right down in the middle.

“hot babes, two of them, seated on the same bench, doing the same thing.”

Whoa sorry for the whole week long hiatus babes.  Mina was eaten.

Oh great.  Now all of the executives at Urban Outfitters that are probably following Babe City are going to see this picture and hang colorful beach balls from the ceilings in all of their stores this season.

Or it could go the other way around.  All of the executives at K-Mart that are following Babe City will see this picture and place hot babes in all of the beach ball aisles…

Mina already meets all of her boyfriends at K-mart, or Aeropostale.

“Marketing Bonanza Babe”

YES!!!! i admire your fierce independence babe, your willingness to stand up for not feeling like wearing a shirt.

i’m not going to wear a shirt tomorrow either. except that might not be a big enough statement for me, because i’m unemployed and not even wearing pants right now. i think i will assert my independence tomorrow by painting my face purple with lightning bolts and tiger stripes on it and taking a trip to the grocery store.  

And I will get a bucket of ice ready for my hand when i get back after all of the high fives I’m going to get.

“Inspirational Lack of T-Shirt Babe.”

“The babe”: nice pec definition, favorite color red.  (see shirt and bike)  

“Group behind the babe”: has apparently discovered a secret water cooler that they are hiding from their manager.  Favorite pants khaki.  (maybe just the guy on the left)

If an army of hot man babes was to storm your house, apartment, or trailer by the river, this babe would surely be their leader.

The man babe army would kidnap you and take you as a hostage back with them to their home base in their secret babe lair.  As the “Babe Commander”, the above pictured man hulk would get first dibs, and if he wanted you, you would be his.

I posted an ad on craigslist several weeks ago to try my luck volunteering as a hostage for pirates, assuming pirates would be hot babes. So far, I have yet to be kidnapped from my bed by awesome pirate babes as requested, but I sleep with red lipstick on in a tank top with a skull and cross bones on it every night now in the hopes that someday they’ll come, and they’ll know that they’re kidnapping the right person.